OK, maybe I'm being overly melodramatic. But I'll try to explain some of this if you care to know.

My time with Jennifear was to learn poker. I did that. I can honestly say I'm still learning, though at a MUCH slower pace. I'm still learning by coming here and posting. Occasionally I even look up stuff when I wanna aswer something thoughtfully. On the other side, I'm lucky if I get a two-sentence email from Jen twice a year anymore. I don't know her reasons but I know she had some things happen to her that she is still dealing with. However, that time was exceptionally valuable and I made a lot of money because of it. In fact, I'd hate to know where'd me and my family would be right now without the profits of poker. Seriously.

It was more than a pastime, obviously. Forgotten? No, of course not. If it was I wouldn't be here. Actually, Pokerology and Tim kept me into poker for much longer than I thought with the offers of writing articles and doing videos.

Am I passionate? Well, if absence makes the heart grow fonder I guess so. Face it, next month will be the 2nd anny of Black Friday. Considering all my viable options to play were taken away due to that, well, that's a long time for the passion of playing to hang around. Trust me, if BF never happened I'd be very likely to be playing professionally online right now assuming that the move to Houston still happened. Face it, that would have been a PERFECT time to give it a go. I'm very confident that I would have succeeded, even if I lost sanity from it. :)

Now? Well, in August I tried to "play regularly", even if my bankroll was under $200 online. I did OK, my ROI was north of 10% somewhere, but might have profited like $12 or something. Did I grind? Hell no. I was looking for a "real job", taking care of the house (my wife travels for her job quite a but now) and due to her travel when she was home I really didn't want to be tied to a computer. I had to get the kid set up for school and whatever else.

At that point I just realized that the time for poker had passed. New city, new state, new job, new (rented) house. At least while I was still in FL I had the Monday home games to play each week... that was gone too. Same for the bar games on Wednesdays. Priorities changed. Shit happened. When I have spare time to do something of my choosing, poker just isn't on the list very often anymore. After a while, I just decided to let it go.

Now, if it came back would I play? Tough question. I'd like to think I would because the itch would get me, assuming it was Stars and FTP and wow, even Party would be great. My poker money has been absorbed into my life money now, well, except for that $2600 or still stuck on FTP and UB. Ugh. I really don't have much to pull for a BR to start with, I'd literally would have to start over. I'm not sure I wanna do that, especially with the more limited time I have. My weekeds are not reserved for poker like they once were and I'm doubtful I could wrestle that time back since my wife is home on weekends when she travels.

Anyway, enough of all that. Lets just say it all added up over the course of the last number of months. The final straw was probbaly when my PT3 took a shit and I lost my database. Yeah, I have a backup somewhere but I don't know what date that backup is (its post-BF so its not so bad). Still, I think that was the final "fuck it" moment. I uninstalled PT3 and said "I'm done".

Despite it all, I still come back here nearly every night now. Wednesday nights I play D&D with my son at a local comic shop, I'm back to occasonally playing an online MMORPG with my wife again (which is what I gave up to play poker, imagine that), do a movie night on Saturdays (usually), and whatever else. I'm fine with that. If my budget keeps improving I'll go back to my very first passion: golf. I've had to stop playing because of the expense and the move and whatever else, but despite not playing I still have the passion for it. I'd like to think that poker will fall under the same umbrella.