Quick!

[Queso]

Say you run into a very old friend at a stoplight, and he tells you he's on his way to a home game-- his very first. He just learned to play last week. No one in his game has been playing for very long, either. There's no time to talk, but he wants some pointers-- you've got thirty seconds--- what do you tell him that can make him money tonight?

(Your cell phone battery is dead, too, for the wise-asses amongst you)

[Tim]

Originally Posted by Queso

There's no time to talk, but he wants some pointers-- you've got thirty seconds--- what do you tell him that can make him money tonight?

You say; "shall I come with you?"

[Tim]

Sorry for the wise ass comment.

How about....

Only play good starting hands.
Don't try and bluff beginners.
Raise and fold more than call.
Pay attention at all times.
Have fun, relax, and enjoy.

[DangerMouse]

I`d say

"When you get home go on the pc and look at the beginners section on www.pokerology,com".

Can`t believe you missed the shameless plug Tim

[malfunctioning]

Originally Posted by DangerMouse

I`d say

"When you get home go on the pc and look at the beginners section on www.pokerology,com".

Can`t believe you missed the shameless plug Tim

Shame on you Tim, good thing DM was here to pick up your slack.

[TIME]

Originally Posted by Queso

Say you run into a very old friend at a stoplight.

Just how old is this friend? Watch yourself, Queso ... old guys rule! I guess since he's very old you should tell him to try and remain alert, remember what Lancy taught him back in the '30s, make sure he's on his meds and try and keep his bathroom visits to a minimum of ten.

[malfunctioning]

Originally Posted by TIME

make sure he's on his meds

There's an old timer I play up in Oklahoma with from time to time. He says Viagra is best for old folks at a poker table. Keeps them sitting up straight, and getting f***ed on the river seems alot more fun.

[Tim]

Originally Posted by DangerMouse

Can`t believe you missed the shameless plug Tim

Yeah, I wouldn't make a good salesman.

Queso - is this a true story? If so, what did you say?

[Queso]

Originally Posted by Tim

Sorry for the wise ass comment.

How about....

Only play good starting hands.
Don't try and bluff beginners.
Raise and fold more than call.
Pay attention at all times.
Have fun, relax, and enjoy.

Oh, I don't mind the wise-ass comments! I just wanted to head off all the 'call him on your cell phone and spend an hour schooling him' comments that I could clearly see coming.
I should have specified, 'all other wise-ass comments welcome'.

[Queso]

Originally Posted by Tim

Yeah, I wouldn't make a good salesman.

Queso - is this a true story? If so, what did you say?

No, I was just trying to come up with a plausible scenario where you only had a few seconds to give someone the best poker advice you could.

I was hoping it would be a way to synthesize or crystallize (sorry, 'synthesise or crystallise', right?) our thoughts about the game-- and narrow down what each of us might consider the most important thing to keep in mind while playing.

But DM's right, lol, it didn't even occur to me